Why I Don’t Watch the NFL

How you spend your time and your money has an ethical responsibility factor that has to be considered. We vote for our politicians every 2-4 years. We vote with our dollars every single day. We need to choose which businesses we desire to support based on the ethical implications of their actions. Which is why I am very deliberate in deciding what businesses I choose to support. I meet people every day who are extremely concerned about the environmental implications of what they consume. I respect the people who refuse to buy plastic, or use Styrofoam, or to eat meat. Should we not be as judicious in the way we spend our money?

I love football. It’s as American as Apple Pie. I refuse to watch the NFL for two reasons. The fact that players are allowed to kneel during the national anthem is not something I will support. Additionally, I believe there is not a strict enough code of conduct enforced for the actions of players off of the field. These men are role models for young men. They should be held to the highest standard. The NFL refuses to do so. So, I refuse to support them. Mercedes Benz corporation, BMW, and Hugo boss all benefitted from the slave labor propagated by concentration camps created by the Nazi Party in WWII.  I refuse to purchase their products.   I won’t shop at Walmart because of the way they treat employees, and deal with suppliers is unethical in my opinion. Mostly because I don’t like supporting their stranglehold on the market.

Allow me to clarify a couple of things for those of you who are huffing and hawing right now. I will be the first to state that it is any person’s First Amendment right to demonstrate and speak in any manner they deem fit. I swore an oath to support and defend that right. At the same time, the fact that a person would kneel in front of the same flag that is draped across the  coffins of those who lost their lives defending that right, gives me cause to refuse to support an organization that allows it. As far as I am concerned it is up to the Supreme Court to determine if the NFL can prevent their players from kneeling during the National Anthem. Get ready for it. Do I judge people for slugging down beers and eating chicken wings while grown men toss the pig skin on Sunday? Absolutely not. Do I want people to consider the ethical implications of their spending? Most Definitely.  

I spent the morning interviewing fellow Marine Infantry Officer and now Entrepreneur Mike Steadman. He’s the “Wartime CEO” of ironbound boxing. They’re a hybrid company that has a for profit arm and a 501-3 C nonprofit arm. The profit arm shows up at businesses and organizations and provides boxing classes to participants in order to promote health, wealth, team-building and overall morale improvement. The Non-profit arm runs a boxing gym in the inner-city of Newark, New Jersey. The Boxing Gym funnels inner-city youth into an environment and arena of positivity, and off of the street. Now you need to understand what Mike is doing and you will learn more about him in a future episode of the podcast.

Mike is a guy with a bachelor’s degree from the Naval Academy. He went on to become an Infantry officer in the United States Marine Corps. A skill-set that makes any individual a force to be reckoned with. He has a Master of Arts in American Studies from Rutgers and he has even graduated from the Stanford Ignite program for entrepreneurs. This guy could land a job at any firm and they would be more than lucky to have him. He eats, breaths, and sleeps with an energy that is unmatched. He could go into any career that could pad his pockets nicely.

Instead Mike went to the inner-city to find youth who needed an area to develop and be surrounded by positive role models. To do so he had to turn down the dollars and choose being a part of a struggling community. He even had the tires stolen off of his car after moving into Newark. He followed a difficult path to reach the position he is in right now. He struggled. He moved forward and struggled again. Now he has plans to make the Ironbound Boxing Brand an internationally recognized name. Spend five minutes with the man and watch one video on his Instagram and you will believe that he is definitely capable of doing so.

Our country needs more entrepreneurs like Mike and our citizens need to support a man like him. He is engrained in the community, and he is giving back. Every step he takes keeps young men from the inner-city in mind. If you want to support a company or an individual that will benefit society it is Iron-bound boxing. I know that I will be purchasing an Iron Bound Boxing shirt immediately to represent for the cause.

I will leave you with this. Peter Thiel’s speech at the National Conservatism Conference really nailed a lot of the things we need entrepreneurs and consumers to consider in their actions. He pointed out that “Nationalism is not my country, right or wrong. It is: How does my country compare to other countries? Nationalism is going to be extremely critical, not unreflective.” I agree with a lot of Thiel’s ideals and disagree with others. What I can’t argue with is entrepreneurs assisting in solving our nation’s problems. Mike Steadman made a good point in a discussion with me today that I want to leave you with. We can take a hard stance on certain issues, but when something is wrong we need to come out and admit it, even if it doesn’t support some hidden agenda that aligns with our ideals.

About the Author

John McCarthy is the founder of the Post Modern Patriot blog and the host of our podcast. He is a former Marine Infantry Officer, Husband, father, and son. He is obsessed with individual performance in the realms of health, wealth, relationships, and the intersection of all three. He strives to share that with the world so that he can empower others to live boldly. Let’s leave a legacy!!!

Like what you see? Check out more.

Join Our Followers

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

EP21: The Mental Transition from Military to Civilian with Nicholas Christopoulos

Nicholas Christopoulos is a Marine no longer serving as active duty. He spent five years serving in the Marine Corps as a Harrier Mechanic and exited the Marine Corps as a Sergeant. He is currently pursuing a Bachelors degree at Fordham University in the Bronx New York, with a focus on political science in the hopes of re-entering the Marine Corps as an Officer.  He is the host of Sergeant’s Secret Battle a podcast that starts the conversation that says it is okay to actually talk about feelings, to talk about being vulnerable.  He focuses on the difficulty of transitioning out of the military into the civilian world.  I’m bringing Nick on the show because I believe he highlights a lot of the things Veteran’s struggle with in his show and I want to share his message with the world.

Check out Nick’s Show where he interviews Veterans and asks about their transition from Warrior back to Citizen. (It may or may not be an interview with me)

We both recommended this book in the show today.

Think our Podcast is Awesome!! Subscribe below.

Check out some of our other posts and episodes.

Join Our Email List

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

Our Sponsor: MannyPaxx

MannyPaxx is the Fanny-pack company coming to a waist near you. Put Manny on your Fanny. Check out their website now and preorder one of their Fanny-packs for free shipping.

T.S.D.H.O. !!!

Stop waiting for someone to give you permission to follow your dreams. I am so tired of hearing the excuses we all make to not pursue a desired goal. When I wrote bootstrap your MVP 5 months ago I laid out a road map for people to follow their goals. I built on that road map when I released the podcast, leading an agile life. Both were distributed so I could lay out the framework I was following in my own life to begin achieving my own desired outcomes. When this year started I said I wanted to start my blog, and my podcast. I also said when I finished my MBA I would start up some sort of venture to begin earning capital.

Here I am accomplishing all of those things. I hate to be the one to talk about myself, but I need to use these examples to demonstrate a few things to the awesome people who continually come to this website, and listen to my podcast. When I wrote bootstrap your MVP I commented on how pissed off I was that I didn’t start my podcast two to three years earlier. Had I done so I would have already had a listener base at this point that would be big enough to be proud of. I just completed my weekly review of the podcast, and website and wanted to drop a few stats on my readers and listeners.

  • As of last review, the blog has had over 4000 views.
  • The podcast is currently sitting at 350 unique listeners.
  • Monday was the release of the 20th episode of the podcast.

Not to mention the fact that my podcast has granted me the opportunity to jumpstart public speaking engagements, meet budding entrepreneurs, and prep to interview some really amazing people. There are some other really awesome things coming for the blog and podcast. None of them would be here if I hadn’t thrown away the bullshit excuses I was telling myself and gotten things started.

Alright so I’ve established that things are going well and we are coming far. Why should that interest you? The world is filled with advice, self-help gurus, and people who think they know how to do things better than you do. I’m not that person who is better. I’m that person who is right next to you. I work between 40-60 hours a week at my full time job. I spend several hours a day with my new born son. I keep my beautiful home and yard as clean as possible (with the help of family). I spend weekends with family and I fight to continue learning new things.

What I have learned So Far.

First, the bad post to your blog, the shitty episode on your podcast, always gets more views than the ones you spend a year working on and never release. You are not going to get content out there and build up a format to be proud of until you release some awful content. You can always delete those things later. I don’t because I want people to see how far we have come. I wish I could show you the way the website looked initially. Go back and listen to some of my first episodes. Some of them are awesome. Some of them are awful.

Now is finally the time where I feel like I am hitting my stride in blog posts and in podcast episodes. I am taking risks and creating content that is getting attention and I love it. I would have never made it to this position if I didn’t avoid the excuses I initially told myself about starting all of these things. Check out my episode with Adam Simmons if you want to hear about some random dude I met at a cigar shop who stopped letting me make excuses about starting my podcast.

T.S.D.H.O. !!! (again)

This shit doesn’t happen overnight. Seriously. I honestly want to write that on my forehead right now so I never forget it. When you first start your blog, podcast, business there is always a surge of initial support. Your friends who love you will send out some shares, likes, and subscribes. Some of them will blindly stand behind you the whole way. Those are your ride or die homies. Some of them will not come back to your content again. That is ok, its not for them and they’re still the people you love to share good times with. After that you are going to have very few consistent viewers and listeners.

You will start to grow. Slowly. You must remain consistent. Consistency is key in building the habit of having viewers and listeners return to your content. Ensure that you are asking for help, soliciting feedback, and calling to action. My best friend from episode 3 also happens to be a professional publicist. Who do you think I bounce marketing ideas off of on a weekly basis? People tell me they love an episode. I respond and ask them to share with friends in their network. I also follow up and ask them what they liked most about the show and what they think most needs improvement.

It is so shitty to release a post that gets five views. I know how much you judge yourself for that. Here is the beauty of it. That post never goes away. It’s like a piece of real estate you own in the internet universe that can never lose value. If you say something really stupid and never correct it, it may detract from your reputation. However, it will never get less views. It will only increase exposure over time. As the old adage goes there’s not such thing as bad PR. Look at our President, he’s the king of leveraging bad PR to get some where big in life.

I’m giving you permission right now!

I met a dude in a cigar shop who said, “No man! you can start tomorrow.” I’m doing that for you right now. You can start right now. It is official. You have been told that there is not a single thing standing in between you and your goals, besides your willingness to take the first step. Whatever it is, start moving towards it and remember to keep moving forward. You will meet resistance and you will wonder if this is working. Continue to press forward. Continue to press!

About the Author

John McCarthy is the founder of the Post Modern Patriot blog and the host of our podcast. He is a former Marine Infantry Officer, Husband, father, and son. He is obsessed with individual performance in the realms of health, wealth, relationships, and the intersection of all three. He strives to share that with the world so that he can empower others to live boldly. Let’s leave a legacy!!!

Like what you see? Check out more.

Join Our Followers

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

Responding To An Active-Killer.

I would like to make my opinions about weapons and the 2nd Amendment very clear up front. I am a suburban kid who grew up in a state where you could not discharge a weapon east of the parkway, and I attended a private university where I obtained a liberal arts degree. You can probably guess my position on the right to bear arms. Or at least what it used to be. The first time I touched a loaded rifle was when they handed me an M-16 at The Basic School in Marine Corps Base Quantico.

My first time on a rifle range was an interesting moment. Unlike the country boys or other suburban kids who had gun-nuts for Dads, this was the first time I would sight in on a target with a rifle. I attempted to seat the magazine I had into the magazine well of my rifle, pulled the charging handle to the rear, and I now had a round in the chamber (or so I thought). When instructed by the range announcer I jumped into the prone position and sighted in on my target. Taking a deep breath as instructed, and attempting to fire prior to exhaling. CLICK. The weapon did not fire. I conducted remedial actions and sighted in on my target and attempted to fire, again. CLICK. One of the shooting coaches on the range walked over to inspect my weapon. He himself couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t get a round in to the chamber. Until he attempted to remove my magazine.

Believe it or not, having never touched a rifle before I managed to successfully seat the magazine inside my rifle upside down. I bring this story up to illustrate the fact that I was once that kid who was so nervous to hold a rifle, because I thought it was the most dangerous thing on earth. The Marines would quickly indoctrinate me, and I would understand the inner workings of multiple weapon systems that were far more deadly than the M-16 I was once scared to hold. They would also teach me that any idiot can operate a weapon system, but only the experts are consistently lethal with said weapon.

I was once the kid who thought weapons were for the military and the police only. Now, I believe it is an individual’s right to keep whichever weapons they desire in their home, because in the end it is the man or woman behind the rifle who needs to be worried about. Much like it is the man or woman at the end of a bottle who gets behind a wheel that should be worried about. My response to drunk driving, DUI’s, Underage binge-drinking, is not to remove alcohol from society. Need I remind you how that went the last time? We created a black market that bank-rolled the actions of more crime syndicates than this country had ever seen.

I say all of this to make it clear that I own rifles. I love weapons. I believe it is the right of every red-blooded American to own as many rifles and stock pile as much ammunition as you desire. To you folks who have never felt the recoil of a rifle and hit black (dead center) on a target, I see your side as well. I admit that our nation is facing a problem with active-killers (more on why not to call them active shooters later). So we can make a decision to be sheep, who await our moment filled with anxiety and fear of a potential demise at the hands of another individual. Or we can make a decision to take matters into our own hands. I’m not calling for vigilantism. I am calling for a well-educated populace to know how to respond to these situations.

Choose to Learn to Navigate Chaos.

If you haven’t heard of Tony Blauer, the man spews out free information regarding ways to respond to every single violent situation. He constantly preaches for the need to learn to navigate chaos. His instagram page has a breakdown for responding to active killers (with over 13,000 views) that I highly recommend watching. He has developed a self defense system known as the SPEAR-system. Having trained in multiple martial Arts, I find what Blauer teaches to be most interesting and very actionable. He harnesses the human flinch response to respond to someone who is attacking you. He also released this 20 minute podcast in response to the Las Vegas massacre. While the audio is tough at points, there are some actionable pieces of information in this episode.

Implement a Few Simple Things in Your own life to prepare.

You should carry a tourniquet on you. I keep one in my truck at all times. A person with an arterial bleed can be gone in close to two minutes. You can save their life with a tourniquet. As Blauer says, “You can learn to use a fire extinguisher to put out a fire, and that doesn’t make you a firemen. I can teach you to use a tourniquet to save someone’s life, even if that does not make you a combat medic.”

Aaron Jannetti is the gentlemen that Tony Blauer interviews in the podcast I mentioned above. His book is something I would recommend buying if you want to learn more about these situations and I myself have just purchased it. He also has a page devoted to teaching people how to respond to these active killer situations.

We Need to Stop Calling These People Active Shooters

As Lt. Col Grossman points out in this video, these people are not shooters. They are murderers. There is a difference. A shooter is someone training with their weapon on a range. They are working hard to ensure they can employ their weapon safely and effectively. They are generally police officers, members of the military, or responsible red-blooded Americans who want to ensure they can use the weapon they carry should the time ever come. These people engaging in these massacres at schools, movie theaters, and in other public spaces are not shooters. They are murderers. Our society needs to distinguish between people with guns who have good intentions, and people with guns who have awful intentions.

The issue in our society isn’t about guns. The gun is the tool these active killers are using to engage in violent action. We can choose to stand around and hope we are never placed in such a situation. Or we can choose to be a part of the solution by arming our minds with methods to respond. We must not fear evil men. What we must fear is the indifference of good men.

About the Author

John McCarthy is the founder of the Post Modern Patriot blog and the host of our podcast. He is a former Marine Infantry Officer, Husband, father, and son. He is obsessed with individual performance in the realms of health, wealth, relationships, and the intersection of all three. He strives to share that with the world so that he can empower others to live boldly. Let’s leave a legacy!!!

Like what you see? Check out more.

Join Our Followers

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

EP 20: Shit Kickers and Silver Slippers.

In today’s episode of the podcast I cover a concept dropped on me recently by a mentor of mine. I spent time framing houses awaiting my orders to active duty in the Marine Corps. We built houses for millionaires and successful people like Bruce Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi, and Jon Stewart. My boss and mentor was able to spend time with a lot of these people and learn a lot from them. Today’s episode covers once of the concepts he subsequently shared with me by my mentor that I think needs to be heard. Where have you entered the world with a hard work ethic mentality and returned with a pair of silver slippers?

Bonus Post is coming up this week on responding to an Active Shooter.

Think our Podcast is Awesome!! Subscribe below.

Check out some of our other posts and episodes.

Join Our Email List

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

Our Sponsor: MannyPaxx

MannyPaxx is the Fanny-pack company coming to a waist near you. Put Manny on your Fanny. Check out their website now and preorder one of their Fanny-packs for free shipping.

The Ultimate Morning Routine

We get an endorphin rush when we see someone presenting us the new patented approach to life-hacking our way to success. It’s just like fad diets. Ever-changing, being reinvented and resold under a new marketing scheme. I respect and believe that we should endeavor to try new techniques and tactics to approach life with. These can be tools for our tool box, and a more successful person than us may have found an easier way to make themselves more effective. What we must refrain from is the constant hopping around and dependence on others telling us what we are doing is correct.

I say this to remind you that what I may point out in this post is good for me. It helps me to get the day going and to be more effective. I have tested it out and determined that this is the method that is best for me. For many of us that is not necessarily the case. I have tried out the recommended morning routines of guys like Tim Ferris and Aubrey Marcus. While I take some things from them, I don’t take everything from them. I would recommend signing up for Tim’s email list on his website to get his morning routine guide (free of charge). Additionally, you can pick up Aubrey Marcus’s book to see his methods, potions and concoctions that can increase your output throughout the day.

John’s Morning Routine

Fitness

  I try to start each day with a little bit of fitness. Be it a full on crossfit class, a quick run, or just some burpees, I like to do something that will get my heart-rate going and set me up for an early endorphin rush. We choose the attitude we have about our day in the first moments of being awake. I like my first moments to be centered on fitness. I must admit that as of late with a newborn in the home, this isn’t as frequent as it once was, but I am getting back to it. Regardless I am one of those people who can roll out of bed and be working out moments later. It must be a habit I developed in the Marine Corps. Otherwise the rest of my morning routine follows my morning worship in the house of pain, and what follows is the same regardless of whether I went to the gym or not.

Aubrey Marcus’s Hydration Shake

Aubrey Marcus released a book that included this shake in it and it is one of the most awesome things I have ever added to my day. You take the following ingredients, mix them up, and chug it down first thing in the morning. Marcus recommends prepping them into a paste the night before in your shaker bottle.  This way you can just add 12 Oz of water to it right when you wake up. The formula is super simple, but I have noticed a genuine difference in my day after starting it with this.

Ingredients

  • 2 Tsp of Pink Himalayan Sea Salt (for me it’s 12 grinds of the salt mill)
  • Juice squeezed from ½ a lemon.
  • 12 Oz water

Instructions

Add to your favorite shaker bottle and stir or shake (up to you James Bond) until your salt is dissolved. Then you can chug that sucker down and feel the difference. (If you have hypertension or any other disorders, I recommend consulting with a Doctor before adding any salt to your diet)

Caffeine is a must or Is It?

I don’t know if caffeine is a must. I know some people are coffee drinkers and others are teetoalers. My time in Europe made me really enjoy the act of stopping at a café for a quick espresso in the morning.  I don’t think the actual drink you consume in the morning is most important, but I do think the act of having a routine to stimulate the brain and that you can rely upon for structure is.

For me the French-Press with this coffee has always been my favorite morning routine. When I was an infantry officer, myself and a lot of the other officers used to get together with our jet-boils and French-press attachments in the morning to drink our coffee before daytime operations would begin. It was a great way to have a moment of peace before the madness began. When I returned home, I instituted that same routine into my life in the civilian world. I am not saying you need to French press your coffee to enjoy it properly. For me going through the motions of grinding the beans, boiling the water, letting the beans soak, and finally pressing it all down before consuming my first cup is a part of the mentality of starting my day off with a deliberate focus. I think the different smells of the evolution of the coffee from bean, to grind, to drink all really excites me and gets my senses going as well.

The other thing I love about the French press it the view of the pot on my counter. I enjoy knowing that if a friend or loved one comes by I can immediately share a glass with them and brew up more later. If not I can save some for myself for when the morning doldrums set in.

Meditation

A lot of people are preaching about the benefits meditation these days. I used to think this was the dumbest thing in the world. When I was in the Marine Corps I frequently got up and walked around in nature a whole hell of a lot. So I didn’t understand why people needed a deliberate reset for their day. I was just being absent-minded and thought everyone else was being an idiot. After transitioning out of uniform, I immediately understood why it was good to have 10-15 minutes 1-2 times a day to turn the brain off and reset.

I do meditate now, and I find it to be one of the best things I can do for myself now a days. As a matter of fact I’m hitting a 15 minute session right after I finish writing this post. If I can recommend the Oak Rise App, it is what has made this act so easy for me. If you are one of those people who legitimately cannot meditate that is ok. I recommend testing out some methods for walking meditations. Those are generally best for those people with the most over active minds.

Email, Calendar, Bullshit.

I always check email, my calendar, and bullshit immediately after getting into work. Everything doesn’t always get an immediate response, but everything is reviewed and assessed for emergencies. The calendar review is just prep me for what may lie ahead. I am strongly against being a fire killer. I spent plenty of my life in a reactive environment. If I work for a person or organization who approaches everything as though the sky is falling, I am the first to turn a blind eye to their self-inflicted chaos. Every once in a great while something happens that actually is a fire. At which point I do sound the Alarm and I am at least ready to spend the entire day shifting things around to deal with it.

Now the bullshit. I purposely spend the last 20 minutes of my personal time before my day’s first meeting with the team, bullshitting with one my best friends. The same guy who was the muse for last week’s post. Sometimes he is too busy and other times I get side tracked. For me, it’s somewhat cathartic to take a moment every day to shoot the breeze, and talk about absurd things going on in the world. I also choose to speak with him every day because he gets me pretty hyped and I like the way he approaches the world. It’s a nice daily stimulator for my mind.

You make the call

I think ultimately you need to do what is best for you and assess the impact it has on your day. That doesn’t mean refrain from pushing past comfort zones. If anything pushing the edge on comfort is one of the best possible things you can do for yourself. I just don’t want people to think they need to follow one routine or another to know they are doing things right. If anything, you may need to change your routine frequently. What works at one time may not work at another. Comment or email us at postmodernpatriot@gmail.com to let us know what routine works best for you.

About the Author

John McCarthy is the founder of the Post Modern Patriot blog and the host of our podcast. He is a former Marine Infantry Officer, Husband, father, and son. He is obsessed with individual performance in the realms of health, wealth, relationships, and the intersection of all three. He strives to share that with the world so that he can empower others to live boldly. Let’s leave a legacy!!!

Like what you see? Check out more.

Join Our Followers

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

EP19: Dr. James Bailey and Negotiating your way to 1 Million Dollars More in Your Life-time.

In today’s Episode Dr. Bailey and I sit down to discuss important concepts like negotiating higher salary, a better price for a car, understanding why it is important to admit we are wrong, where executives make mistakes, why it is better to get an outside opinion at times. I’m really excited to share this episode with my audience and honestly I should be calling this the 1 Million dollar episode. Please enjoy and let me know the next time you use the tactics we talk about to help you negotiate your way to a better deal.

Professor Bailey’s Bio

James R. Bailey is a professor of leadership at the George Washington University School of Business (GWSB), and a Fellow in the Centre for Management Development, London Business School. He has taught at the University of Michigan, New York University, IMD, and the Helsinki School of Economics. Dr. Bailey is the recipient of several teaching distinctions, including four GWSB Outstanding Faculty Awards.

In 2006, he was named one of the world’s top ten executive educators by the International Council for Executive Leadership Development. He has published more than 50 academic papers and case studies, and is the author of five books, including the award-winning, best-selling Organizational and Managerial Wisdom and the forthcoming Lessons on Leadership. He has designed and delivered hundreds of executive programs for firms like Nestle, UBS, Conoco-Phillips, and Goldman Sachs, as well as several major law firms and the U.S. Congress.

Dr. Bailey is a frequent keynote speaker who has appeared on broadcast programs for the BBC, NPR, and Fox News, and his work has been cited in news outlets such as the Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Forbes, and Business 2.0. He is a frequent contributor to The Hill, the Washington Post, the Washington Business Journal, and the Harvard Business Review. He is the former Editor-in-Chief of the Academy of Management Learning and Education. His practitioner essays appear in his column At the Helm in Psychology Today, and in Lessons on Leadership. Professor Bailey has served as a dean, department chair, and program director during his 25 year academic career.

Check out The links to His Good To Great Article, One of the only Harvard Business Review Articles made into a film.

Here is the link to the article that was:

-Named Top 10 Leadership Reads by Harvard Business Review

Named Top 15 leadership reads of 2016 by 15five

-Featured in Alder KotenCurious Autobiography)

Here is the link to the Film featured in Inc.

Oh yeah and in his spare time the man runs his own online magazine. Click Here.

Think our Podcast is Awesome!! Subscribe below.

Check out some of our other posts and episodes.

Join Our Email List

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

Our Sponsor: MannyPaxx

MannyPaxx is the Fanny-pack company coming to a waist near you. Put Manny on your Fanny. Check out their website now and preorder one of their Fanny-packs for free shipping.

My Five Rules For Writing a Best Man Speech.

One of my best friends and I frequently have conversations that spur on blog posts or topics that I cover on my podcast. We even joked last week that one day I will have a book written about all of the interesting concepts he and I discuss and he’s going to open it up to find out it’s literally everything he ever said and I will have zero input what so ever. He’s scheduled to come on the show soon, and when he does you all will understand why I like to discuss things with him. In the mean time he’s also my speech critique specialist. Whenever I do a public speaking engagement I generally go to him first. A few weeks ago he reciprocated and asked me to critique a best man speech he was giving. This week he gave the speech at a wedding and knocked it out of the park. So I’m totally ripping off some of the things he did to share with the world what I think goes into giving a killer best man speech.

Tell a story and hopefully a funny one.

We aren’t all blessed with the ability to deliver a joke. If you aren’t that person, you know it or someone else does and hopefully they have told you. That’s ok if you can’t open with comedy just tell a story that is interesting. If you’re the best man you probably have a child hood memory that you can share that people will resonate with. For my buddy it was endless one on one football matches with the newly crowned groom in their adjoining front yard. People eat those things up. They’re happy memories, and most people played in a friend in their yard.

Don’t leave out the Bride. After all it is her day. So if you are telling a story about the groom you need to tell one about the bride as well. If you think you don’t have one you aren’t trying hard enough. There are two ways to tell her story. One just talk about the day you met her and what you saw in her that made her perfect for your best friend. I hate to say this but in case you hate the bride to be, FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. Still struggling? Find her best friend that you know, or her Mom or Dad and ask them what they think is so special about their daughter (this can also help for later on in the speech.)

Share something sincere about the Bride and Groom, and their love story.

Hopefully to this point you have had the crowd in stitches. If you have they’re thinking “Oh this is a funny best man speech nice. Nothing sentimental that will make you cry.” Congratulations you have softened them up and they aren’t ready for you to wrench their heart out and Mom and Grandma forgot to get the Kleenex ready. When ever I have spoken at weddings I have always asked for a conference call with both the parents of the Bride and Groom. If they are no longer together you have more calls to make. Do not, DO NOT, leave anyone out. Weddings are absolutely a time of people feeling left out and like they weren’t important enough, even though the day should only be about the bride. Mom and Dad are probably footing the bill on both sides too, so they deserve some input.

Ask them all what they think is so special about the Bride and Groom’s relationship. Ask them if they have any funny stories about the Bride, Groom, or both of them. Ask them what it was like the first time they met the Bride (if they are the groom’s parents) or the groom (if Bride’s parents). You are bound to get some great material out of this. If you are like me you will need to take notes during every conversation so you can review it all in speech writing later. After you’ve laid all of your funny anecdotes on the crowd insert that tear jerker about the time Todd Saved Mary’s puppy from an untimely demise (not all heroes wear capes).

It’s the Groom’s Show don’t roast him… too bad.

A part of being funny is sharing that interesting story about the time Todd was so drunk he flooded the entire dorm because he went to sleep in the shower with his blanket. If you’re going to tell an embarrassing story or make a joke just ensure it’s not about something that is a weakness of the grooms. I.E. if the best man makes a joke about the groom being ugly and the dude isn’t the greatest looking guy, that is poor form. If you think you’re going to make an ass out of the groom, then be sure to make more of an ass out of yourself before doing so. Or at least close out with such a wonderful ending that no one remembers that as the highlight of the speech.

Memorize your speech if you can, but have a script on back up. 

I talk a lot about public speaking in episode 10 of the podcast. You can check out some of my go to tactics there. I won’t belabor the point but this is a really important day. You only get one chance to get up there and crush this. You don’t have to be too worried about bombing because thousands of Best Men have done it before you. What you should focus on is the fact that the groom and the Bride chose you to get up there and say something nice about them. You don’t want to miss an opportunity to make them feel amazing about each other on the one day they absolutely should.

If you memorize the speech you can always improvise later once you hit your stride and warm up the crowd. People like to watch a best man speech where the best man makes eye contact and actually talks to the Bride and Groom.  If you have the speech memorized it is that much more likely you will do so.  If you have to revert to paper, do so, just remember to take breaks and look up at the Bride and Groom and smile.  If you get up their and lose your shit, you always have your safety blanket. 

Rehearse, with a buddy or two.

My friend who gave one of the best, best man speeches I have ever seen this week didn’t just rehearse. He called me and rehearsed the speech multiple times. He didn’t just send me the speech he wrote with a comment that said, “can you look this over?” He delivered the speech just like he would have on game day. I sat there and took notes and we discussed how he could make it better and what he should leave in or take out. He went back through and made some changes and we went over it again.

We went over delivery, tone, what jokes would hit, what jokes may not hit. We treated this with the level of attention it deserved. You should too. This way if anything odd arises on game day you are ready to respond to it.  In the end my friend’s speech crushed because of his dedication to delivering an awesome best man speech. Treat it with that level of attention to detail and you will crush it too. 

Closing

It seems like a lot of work for a 5 to 10 minute speech but you don’t want to blow this. As I said before, someone selected you to go up there and be the one to stand next to them on their wedding day. In the old days your position “standing up” for the groom meant that you were supporting this marriage and you would work to see it through. It still means the same today. You’re the one who will get up there and give a speech that will set the tone for the dancing and partying to follow. Treat it as such. Give your best friend and his new beautiful bride another of many moments to remember.

About the Author

John McCarthy is the founder of the Post Modern Patriot blog and the host of our podcast. He is a former Marine Infantry Officer, Husband, father, and son. He is obsessed with individual performance in the realms of health, wealth, relationships, and the intersection of all three. He strives to share that with the world so that he can empower others to live boldly. Let’s leave a legacy!!!

Like what you see? Check out more.

Join Our Followers

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

EP18: Danya Sherman CEO of Knonap, on being an entrepreneur and awesome individual.

Danya is the CEO and Founder of Knonap, a company that creates discreet detection devices for date-rape drugs. Their mission is to empower individuals and communities to create safer social settings, through education and products that bring attention to drug-facilitated sexual assault and crime. We achieve this through partnerships with universities, police departments, and social institutions. Danya covers everything from faith, resetting to perform well, what it is like to be a lady in the work-place and how to possess grit.

KnoNap is a beverage napkin that looks and acts like a generic napkin but has a secretive, secondary purpose. The napkin has perforations along two of its sides that are lined with detection chemicals that are capable, upon saturation, of testing for date rape drug presence. 

Danya is a part of Halcyon a start up incubator that focuses specifically on Social Entrepreneurs. They can be found here.

Think our Podcast is Awesome!! Subscribe below.

Check out some of our other posts and episodes.

Join Our Email List

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

Our Sponsor: MannyPaxx

MannyPaxx is the Fanny-pack company coming to a waist near you. Put Manny on your Fanny. Check out their website now and preorder one of their Fanny-packs for free shipping.

Turn Off The Tech

I have been talking a lot on different podcasts about how important it is to shut off the screaming messages that the world is sending out to you. The information age is amazing. Anyone anywhere can learn anything. I constantly wonder, “what are the negative impacts this can have on who we are as human beings and our overall psyche?” There are amazing benefits to what we are provided with the increasing super powers of technology.

Amazon provides us packages within 48 hours (with free shipping for Prime Members). Google will answer any question you have in about 100 different ways when you access their search engine. They can refer you to books, scholarly articles, and op-eds about the subject. Making you an expert in a few hours. Facebook and Instagram allow us to keep in touch with friends and be constantly tied into the lifestyle they are willing to share with the world. If you want to start a business, Alibaba will put you in touch with manufacturers all over the world in days. Shopify will help you build an e-commerce store to launch that very business on the same day. It is all amazing. Yet the question persists. What are the downsides of this?

All of these companies are training us to expect things immediately. Make a purchase, expect shipping confirmation the same day. We neurotically track every package and every movement on the way to our door. We watch the package on our ring device until we get home in case someone wants to steal it from us (fuck those people by the way). Keeping up with everyone has its downfalls as well. These people only show us their victories and rarely share the fact that they are facing the same struggles as all of us. Lack of regulation in information sharing allows people to share information that hasn’t been vetted, or worse is purposely falsified to serve another purpose. In comes the google results that have been paid for, telling you that your president is the devil. 

Where do we draw the line? How do I leverage this super computer, that fits in my pocket, to change the world and to not turn into Darth Vader in the middle of doing so? I think it requires the following steps.

Do not use Instagram or Facebook

Comparison is the seed of envy. If you have amazing self-control and know when to turn off the evil powers of these two social media networks, then you don’t need to cut it out completely. If you don’t have that level of self-control and catch yourself fading into the dark side delete the apps off of your phone. It sounds crazy I know. After all, many of you were driven to this website by Instagram. I do use Instagram, and it is only to market the podcast and other businesses I am involved in. I caught myself slipping into the dark side and now I have set a strict no consuming policy. I only create content I do not consume. From time to time I will allow myself to observe the social media marketing strategies of competitors. Constantly view the lives of others through the lenses of social media and you open the door to comparison, which grows into envy.  

Don’t watch the news Instead read headlines.

There used to be a time when they printed one newspaper a day. There even used to be a time when television turned off and the screen went blank following the national anthem at the end of the night. There was not always a continuous stream of content available for the world to consume. Trying to keep up with the ever evolving political landscape, or the international economy is an uphill battle that you will surely lose. Even investment bankers work 80 hour weeks to focus on a single market in the World Economy. Headlines will give you everything and I promise, there are too many books out there for you to waste time reading cheesy clickbait on the internet.

Create a time-period for the phone to be turned off or to go away.

If you work hard enough you can find this time regardless of the industry you are in. It may be from 5am-8am. That is still a solid amount of time to limit screen time. If anything, it’s more peaceful to limit screen time in the morning before the rest of the world is “in your face.” For me every day when I am done with work, the phone gets thrown into some space, on silent, where I will not look at it for several hours. It is as though I am casting off the chains that technology has thrust upon me. From 5pm to 8pm no one can reach me and if the British are coming you better send Paul Revere on horseback because you won’t catch me by phone. The world does not deserve constant contact with immediate feedback from me. If we have a right as a human, it is the ability to be alone with our thoughts and technology robs us of this.

This limitation of technology needs to be increased 10 fold when it comes to pornography and there are not enough men talking about it.

I am not standing in front of you with a bible pointed in your face labeling you a sinner. I have no problem with pre-marital sex between two consenting adults and I am a big fan of admiring beauty in the opposite sex. After all I am married to the most beautiful woman in the world. The issue lies in the ability to consume the most vivid, and hardcore pornographic material to ever exist. The fact that we haven’t reached max capacity on the amount of pornography needed in the world blows my mind. They keep producing and people keep consuming. This market is the king of over production and over consumption of content.

Studies are showing that pornography is leading to lower libido, erectile dysfunction, and sexualization of the world. Some men are more likely to masturbate to pornography than they are to engage in sexual intercourse with a partner. What’s more is people anticipate that soon all babies will be created in labs as that is the safest way to reproduce. I think we are still a ways off from there but talk about opening the door for the absence of intercourse at that point. Aldous Huxley was spot on about many of his forecasts of the future in Brave New World. However, his creation of the orgy porgy didn’t account for the fact that human beings would have constant access to 4K pornography in any genre they want to watch. I go back and forth between anticipating contraception becoming so good that people will have sex everywhere and live-porn becoming so big that no one will have sex anywhere.

Books are becoming so undervalued

I can’t understand why as a society people are not reading more books. The Marine Corps drilled this into my head, and it has afforded me so much more knowledge than I believe I would have ever obtained elsewhere. Blog posts and online courses are awesome, I agree. They can teach us a hell of a lot. Yet an autobiography, catalog of memoirs, or a how-to book can literally put us in the mind of a genius and afford us the opportunity to mimic how they think. Take for example the story of Easy Company from Band of Brothers. Their platoon commander and subsequent Battalion Executive Officer is the epitome of first rate leadership. I can buy a biography about him, a catalogue of his memoirs, and a book called conversations with Dick Winters (written just before he passed) all for under 30 dollars. I can become a scholar in first rate leadership in a few short weeks.

Let other people consume for you and tell you what you need to worry about.

I have a lot of friends who are extremely intelligent when it comes to world affairs and current events. I garner a lot of my information from them. They get a huge endorphin rush when it comes to explaining a situation. So generally, I ask them what their opinion is on a certain headline I have read, and I allow them to give me the cliff notes version. I personally try to catalogue my friend’s and family’s political biases so that I can attempt sift through what may be opinion and what may be unbiased information in the break down they provide. I am never judgmental of what they say but I am willing to choose what I accept, and I do not. If they provide information I find somewhat controversial I will finally cave and go on to read further into it. An example in recent events was the bombing of the cargo ship off off the coast of Iran. It was too hot button of a topic and too controversial for me not to read further and develop my own opinion. If I read into every topic as much as I did the Iran Topic, I would be fired from my job and divorced by my family. So, I carefully choose what I will read and what I will not.

Schedule retreats in nature that will have zero connectivity.

If you listened to episode 17 of the podcast, I talk about some of the happiest times in my life being when I had zero material possessions and lived with what I carried on my back. I’m not an infantry officer any more. I don’t go to the field for two weeks a month and live in the woods anymore. So, when I go to places on vacation the phone goes away. Fortunately, my wife takes plenty of pictures for me to catalogue what happens. I’m also so dialed in and not distracted by my phone that I don’t care if we have every moment documented. My memories of the events are good enough.

Every once in a great while I schedule a time to go into the woods completely alone or with a friend who appreciates nature as much as I do. Those are times for great resets. They remind me why I don’t need tech and why I don’t need to be constantly connected. I can figure out the world without Instagram and google. The world will carry on without me as well and if I miss out on something I can always go back and check it out later. If it was that important I will.

I’m not a 21st Century book/tech-burner.

Google, Amazon, Alibaba, and everything else in the tech world are amazing. It is doing a great thing for our comfort level in life. I can do more things on my phone than I could do on a gigantic desk top 10 years ago. The dark-side avails itself in the absence of moderation. It creeps in when we don’t develop systems to reset. We can and we must do these things. I promise you don’t need to be ever connected and if you think that your business or the world will fall apart without you, give it a shot for a week. You can always go back to being the omni-present consumer of content.

About the Author

John McCarthy is the founder of the Post Modern Patriot blog and the host of our podcast. He is a former Marine Infantry Officer, Husband, father, and son. He is obsessed with individual performance in the realms of health, wealth, relationships, and the intersection of all three. He strives to share that with the world so that he can empower others to live boldly. Let’s leave a legacy!!!

Like what you see? Check out more.

Join Our Followers

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.